Anna's Book of Days

Milagros are small metal religious charms found in many areas of Latin America, especially Mexico and Peru. The word “milagro” means “miracle” in Spanish. These small charms, often depicting arms, legs, pregnant women, animals, and a wide range of other subjects, are believed to concentrate health and good fortune on the area represented. They are typically nailed or pinned to crosses or wooden statues of saints, pinned on the clothing of saint statues, or hung with little red ribbons or threads from altars and shrines. They are also carried for protection and luck. I was  told that Mexican children know the favorite milagros of all their relatives, even the dead ones. While on vacation in the small fairy-tale town of San Miguel de Allende in central Mexico, I saw baskets of milagros in every souvenir shop. When holding a handful in my palm, I was overwhelmed at first by the variety of tiny shapes. At first, I didn't see the breasts, but as I looked more closely, they started ...

For the last few days, my cat Emily seemed unwell - lethargic with little appetite, frail and disoriented. I took her to the vet last night hoping for the best - a UTI - but trying to be prepared for the worst. Her labs showed that it was indeed the worst - kidney failure. The vet laid out the treatment options for me: more tests, exploratory surgery, hospitalization with IV fluids and pain medication, appetite stimulants, injections to be administered at home. But all of this would only buy her a little more time, and potentially cause her even more pain and distress in the meantime. The decision seemed clear to me - I didn't want to prolong her suffering. With me by her side stroking her fur, Emily was administered a cocktail of drugs that stopped her heart - and she was gone. Since my diagnosis twenty-one months ago, I've had plenty of opportunities to contemplate my own death in the abstract. When I wrote my living will before my surgery, I was forced to consider t...