Treatment Cycle 7 - Day 1

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One down, eleven to go!

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And So It Begins

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On August 26th, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Since then, I keep trying to say it out loud - "I have breast cancer" - so that I can start to believe it, but each time it sounds like something that couldn't possibly be true. About a month ago, I noticed some lumps in my left breast. I thought that my milk ducts were plugged, and I started trying the recommended home remedies - hot compresses, massage, extra nursing and pumping, lecithin supplements, hot showers. Nothing made a difference and I waited in dread for mastitis to set in. But no signs of infection appeared.  After almost two weeks, at the urging of Seth and my doula Cheryl, I consulted an OB. Dr. Yashari examined my breast and said that the lumps were fibroadenomas, benign breast tumors that are common in young women. He said they were nothing to worry about and would go away after I stopped breastfeeding. He also said that normally with fibroadenomas, they would just monitor them every few months, but jus...
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Seth and I spent hours on Friday morning talking through my fears for my treatment, and I cried more than I have at any time during this illness, including at diagnosis. He listened to my concerns and read the articles that I handed him and dried my tears, and ultimately said, "We need better information." I realized that he was right - we didn't need more information, but we needed actual data, not anecdotes. Even the articles from reputable sources were of limited helpfulness when they quoted doctors' opinions rather than facts, and many of them contradicted each other about which side effects were most likely to occur. But then I found the results of a National Cancer Institute study called NSABP P1 , wherein 13,000  women at high risk of getting breast cancer were randomly assigned to receive either tamoxifen or placebo. The primary goal of the trial was to assess the value of tamoxifen in preventing cancer, but it also included  a set of questionnaires to as...
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