Treatment Cycle 2 - Day 1

Today's treatment went much like the first - we met with Dr. Hurvitz for a quick checkup and exam, then went upstairs for my infusion. Unfortunately, this time when the nurse connected the line to my port it was extremely painful - it felt like she was stabbing me in the chest, which I guess is actually what she was doing. I didn't expect it to hurt, though, since last time I didn't feel a thing. They're going to prescribe a numbing cream that I can apply ahead of time for my next treatment, so hopefully I don't have to feel that again. The infusions themselves were completely painless and easy - 30 minutes of Perjeta and 30 minutes of Kadcyla, with 30 minutes observation after each. We were done by 1:30 and went home to rest.

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While Seth was out getting us lunch, a friend from my support group stopped by to chat. She had a double mastectomy in June and is starting her last cycle of chemotherapy next week. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to be so close to being done with cancer! I've been really focused on getting to the end of my neoadjuvant treatment, which seems like a very attainable goal (fifteen weeks!) - but then there is pre- and post-surgery, however long that takes, and then another thirty-six weeks of adjuvant treatment. I have to admit, it sounds like forever. We've been telling ourselves from the start that this is a marathon, not a sprint, but knowing that a race is a marathon going into it only gets you so far. You still have to run it.

In a study conducted after the 1996 London Marathon, participants were surveyed about their mental strategies and how they correlated with their performance in the race. The strategies fell into four categories: internal association (how the body feels while running), internal disassociation (distractions like playing songs in your head or mental puzzles), external association (passing or being passed by other runners, calculating split times, etc.), and external disassociation (scenery, spectators, etc.). The greatest percentage of those who reported "hitting the Wall" used internal disassociation, while those who used internal association hit the Wall earlier and experienced it for longer.

"Interestingly, external dissociation seems not to lead runners into the trap of hitting the Wall, as you might expect from the results of internal dissociation. The researchers speculate that the observance, however unrelated to racing strategy, of...other runners and spectators may provide enough of the focus needed to keep the correct pace, effectively anticipate hills and so forth. Similarly, runners using external association didn't experience the Wall as often or as intensely as the internally-focused groups. It may be ideal, then, to check in on your body periodically-if briefly-and focus most of your attention externally: on both factors important to the marathon as well as on the enjoyable atmosphere. The latter may be unrelated to performance in any direct sense, but it nevertheless has the power to surround and energize you as you strive to keep your head up, your confidence high and your feet moving toward that finish line."

It's just a metaphor, but an apt one, I think.

Information from active.com.