Treatment Cycle 2 - Day 11

-
I'm going back to work tomorrow. It's almost incomprehensible, how different my world is now from when I left work six months ago. Then, and for the prior fourteen years, my sense of self was rooted deeply in my professional life. But all that changed when I became a mother, and it changed again when I became a cancer patient. My highest priorities now are taking care of Ike and taking care of my health - so we'll see where that leaves my work. I hope to be able to give it the same focus and attention that I used to for the thirty-two hours a week that I'm doing it, but it can no longer be the all-absorbing passion that it had been in the past.

It feels bittersweet that my maternity leave is ending, but the truth is that it actually ended, for all intents and purposes, when I got my diagnosis. Even though I still wasn't working, dealing with my disease became like a job - and the slow, gentle days of nursing and napping and playing with Ike were no more. I really think he was ready to get out into the world and have more stimulation and interaction anyway, so I don't feel too sad that we didn't have the last month and half alone together as I'd planned. And I'm thankful that I was able to devote the necessary time to all of the appointments and tests and procedures that were required, without trying to juggle my job as well. So perhaps it all worked out for the best - if that can be said about this situation.

~

No side effects so far this cycle!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And So It Begins

-
On August 26th, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Since then, I keep trying to say it out loud - "I have breast cancer" - so that I can start to believe it, but each time it sounds like something that couldn't possibly be true. About a month ago, I noticed some lumps in my left breast. I thought that my milk ducts were plugged, and I started trying the recommended home remedies - hot compresses, massage, extra nursing and pumping, lecithin supplements, hot showers. Nothing made a difference and I waited in dread for mastitis to set in. But no signs of infection appeared.  After almost two weeks, at the urging of Seth and my doula Cheryl, I consulted an OB. Dr. Yashari examined my breast and said that the lumps were fibroadenomas, benign breast tumors that are common in young women. He said they were nothing to worry about and would go away after I stopped breastfeeding. He also said that normally with fibroadenomas, they would just monitor them every few months, but jus...
Read more

Recovery - Day 4

-
It is Day 4 of my recovery and I am still in the hospital, an unexpected and frustrating situation since most mastectomy patients go home on Day 2. However, I have been having mysterious fevers and my doctors don't want to let me go until they have figured out the cause and/or the fevers have stopped. Possible causes could be an infection in my lower lungs, an infection in my chemo port, or an infection of one of the surgical incisions. I'm getting two kinds of antibiotics intravenously, a lung treatment administered through an inhaler, and a topical ointment on my incisions. My guess is that they never will be able to determine the cause, but that the fevers will stop through one of the treatments or on their own. My  last one was yesterday at noon, 100.5. Since I've now made it more than 24 hours without another one, everyone is starting to feel a lot more comfortable - but tomorrow is still the very earliest I might be discharged, and it sounds like it might not be until...
Read more

Dr. Armando Giuliano

-
Image
Dr. Yashari referred me to Dr. Giuliano, a former colleague from St. John's who is now at Cedars-Sinai. Dr. Giuliano is very renowned in the world of oncology; he pioneered the practice of sentinel lymph node biopsy as an alternative to removal of underarm lymph nodes, and we were later to hear from others who consider him to be the best surgical oncologist in LA. Perhaps through Dr. Yashari's influence, or maybe just the kindness of Dr. Giuliano's scheduler, Fernando, I was able to make an appointment to see him on Wednesday, August 27, less than 24 hours after receiving my diagnosis. The appointment has already become blurred in my memory, but certain things stand out. I remember Dr. Giuliano saying that my cancer is high-grade, which sounds like a good thing but isn't (it means the cancer cells are extremely different from my normal cells). He also said my cancer is HER2-positive, which used to be a bad thing but isn't anymore, because there are new therapie...
Read more