Treatment Cycle 2 - Day 21

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On the eve of my third cycle, I am so pleased to be able to say that Cycle 2 was even easier than Cycle 1. No side effects! Even after returning to work I still am not experiencing any fatigue. And more important than that - I feel really happy. I know it's a strange thing for a cancer patient to say, but life is good.

~

In non-cancer related news, I was notified today that a piece that I wrote was posted on LeanIn.org (http://leanin.org/stories/anna-jacobson/). I  wrote it about eighteen months ago, on the plane coming home from an excellent Women in Construction conference I attended in New York. I had read Sheryl Sandberg's book, Lean In, on the plane ride out, and between that and the conference, I was all fired up. I dashed off the essay and sent it into the website, soon forgetting all about it - but continuing to think a lot about the issues that I wrote about, which became even more immediate when I got pregnant a few months later.

Re-reading my piece today, for the first time since then, I am struck by how much my outlook has changed. Leaning in, for better or for worse, has fallen many places down on my list of priorities. Being a leader in my industry, or my company, or even my department, is not important to me right now. Increasing my responsibilities and visibility is not important. Speaking out and effecting change for working women is not important. Between Ike and breast cancer, I am just thankful that I have a job to go to each day where my bosses are understanding and supportive of my needs, my truncated schedule, and my limited ability to go the extra mile the way I used to. This is textbook "leaning out" behavior, but I just can't care about that now. I imagine that in a year or so, when I am finishing my treatment and Ike is much more independent, my focus will start to shift back to these issues. But for right now, I don't have the fire in my belly - I need my energy for other things.


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